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I have been feeling incredibly small today, well to be honest i've been feeling small since daddys mum came to stay, perhaps the product of sleeping in the cot all week. I didnt have the main side up but that didnt matter I just turned towards the wall and pretended hehehe. But sleeping in the cot all week really made me feel babyish and frustrated with it because I couldnt do anything about it, so I wrote and I drew and that kinda dispersed my little feelings a little bit. But then I wrote chapter 13 of my novel (and it is a novel now as I passed the 50,000 word limit that I had set myself) and that really set me back to square one of feeling very small. Its my favourite chapter and my most hated chapter at the same time. Im not gonna go into detail if you're not reading the story it wont make sense, but I finished writing it and I was in tears. How strange huh. But yeah so my venting my little side by writing and drawing kinda got set back to the beginning. 
So today at work I was just imagining being looked after, nothing special, just being fed a bottle, being dressed, having my hair brushed and well..just a normal day really, like I said, nothing special, and it was nice fantasising for a bit. I havent really done that in a really long time, but doing that only compounds the problem, makes you feel sad that you hafta be an adult, and those things cant happen. i came home at lunch and satified little me somewhat by having a strawberry jam sandwich for lunch, when i left for work i imagined being taken to nursery school rather than back to work. how disspointing work was work. And so all I really really wanna do is be babied today. like really badly, but sadly I have a gig tonight and daddy is busy with his museum experiments, so i'm unlikely to even be in chat till about 11 tonight. *sighs* Little me is really being a pain at the moment, normally i'm really good at ignoring her, but at the moment she seems to be yelling louder than normal and its hard to zone her out.
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